


Five Things I Like About You

by starspangledsprocket



Series: Commissions [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fairies, Fairy Godparents, M/M, soviet soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4638057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starspangledsprocket/pseuds/starspangledsprocket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is Natasha's fairy godparent, given the task of finding her soulmate. It's... not really going to plan, until Bucky and his fairy Steve come into the picture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things I Like About You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manorabrucelee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manorabrucelee/gifts).



> This is a commission for manorabrucelee, who wanted a fairy godparent AU with a helping of soulmates thrown in there :D

“All I’m saying is that it’s been  _six months_  since we got laid,” Tony whined, holding securely onto Natasha’s hair as he perched lightly on her shoulder. “The whole point of me being your fairy godmother or whatever is that I help you get laid.”

“And here I was thinking you were here to help me find my soulmate,” Natasha replied, rolling her eyes. “You’re just too picky with other people’s fairies.”

“Hey, I don’t think you realise that I’m stuck with the fairy of whoever you end up with,” Tony huffed. “It’s only gonna hurt your relationship if mine isn’t going well; I’m doing you a favour, really. We should just stick to one night stands -”

“Uh-huh,” Natasha hummed, obviously completely unimpressed. “Keep telling yourself that. Now, either make yourself normal, human size, or buzz off. I have to work.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony threw himself from Natasha’s shoulder and had grown to full size before he hit the floor. His wings shrunk and then disappeared, giving him the appearance of a normal human being; without even a misstep, he dusted off his business suit and continued along behind her as she stepped through the doors of SHIELD Publishing House, glancing around to make sure no-one had seen him phase.

Fairies were like the world’s worst kept secret. The idea was that if a person wanted to find their  _soulmate,_ as opposed to just a normal relationship, a fairy would appear to aid them, having the ability to sense when their human’s soulmate grew near. The only downside to the whole situation was fairies also had to have some level of rapport as well, whether it be romantic or platonic, lest they make their humans’ lives hell.

Tony… wasn’t really the monogamous type. Never had been. It had been fine so far, because when he’d met Natasha at eighteen she had been pretty laid back about  _when_  specifically she found her soulmate, but ten years had passed since then. Natasha’s friends and colleagues were starting to settle down, whether it be with soulmates or otherwise, and she had never really been one to follow the crowd, but even Tony could see that one night stands just weren’t really doing it for her anymore.

“Well, you won’t find your soulmate unless you get yourself out there,” he reasoned, voice dipping a little lower as they got into the elevator. Fairy and soulmate business was very personal and strictly confidential, which was why he was technically supposed to stay small and out of sight.

Again… Tony had never been very good at sticking to the rules.

“Come on,” he tried, nudging Natasha gently with his shoulder. “Let’s hit a couple of bars tonight. You can talk to some guys, I can make out with some fairies -”

“You promised you wouldn’t do that anymore,” Natasha hissed, side-eyeing him. “It makes me look bad.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Fine, okay, we’ll look for your soulmate. But if we’ve not found them by the end of the night…?”

“I’ll see if there’s anyone I like,” Natasha compromised quietly with a sigh. “I guess it has been kinda a long time since I fucked anyone.”

“That’s the spirit!” Tony grinned, bounding out of the elevator after her when it stopped outside her office.

—

Tony spent most of the day going over some manuscripts with Natasha (boring), and cruising the cafeteria for some action. He had the ability to change the perception of people around him, meaning he wasn’t quite invisible, but… easily forgettable to all but Natasha. And, unlike all the other rules that he tended to skip over, this was one he simply couldn’t. He had been trained from birth to camouflage himself, to keep his business out of plain sight; more than that, he was bound by fairy law to keep their existence in the shadows. Of course, people  _with_ fairies knew of their existence, but the general consensus was that they were just mythical creatures, and that’s the way the Fairy Elders wanted to keep it.

Tony was a little reckless, sure, but he tended not to anger the Elders. His father was one, for one thing, and he didn’t need him to be any more disappointed in him than he already was.  

Pickings were mightily slim on the ground in the cafeteria, eligible fairy wise, so Tony ended up spending most of his afternoon back in Natasha’s office again. He tried not to annoy her, really he did, but it was  _hard_.

“Hey, Natasha?” he asked, swivelling back and forth in his chair. “Nat, hey, do birds have dicks? Natasha, are you listening? Because you never see them, but then are they like dog dicks? Do they just, like,  _spring out_  -”

“Tony, I swear to God,” Natasha growled from behind her desk, hunched over a manuscript with a pink marker pen. “Shut your mouth right this second before I tear your pretty wings off.”

Tony gasped melodramatically. “You  _wouldn’t_.”

“Carry on and find out,” Natasha replied shortly. “If you’re bored, poof your way home and fix my toaster.”

“ _Poof_ ,” Tony grumbled under his breath. “I’ll have you know that the process of disappearing in one place and reappearing in another is vastly complex and very impressive – only the most elite of fairypeople can manage it -”

“You’re rambling again,” Natasha sighed.

“Because I’m  _bored_!”

Natasha growled and slammed her marker down, sending Tony a truly unimpressed look. Tony shrugged, unrepentant, and with a scoff, Natasha glanced at the clock on the wall and then sighed. It was 5pm – jackpot.

“I was going to stay for another hour,” she sighed, but was already moving back to pack away her work. “Honestly, living with you is like living with a child.”

“I resent that,” Tony sniffed, bounding to his feet. “Besides, that nice sandwich place down the street closes in a half hour, and you need to eat.”

“That…” Natasha grumbled, picking up her coat and bag, “is not the point.”

Natasha ended up getting her usual pastrami on rye, and she bought Tony a meatball and mozzarella sub while he stole pieces of bell pepper as the prep guys ignored his very existence. They ate as they walked, deciding to forgo the subway because it was a pleasant evening, and life felt good.  

“Okay, this guy,” Tony mumbled around a mouthful of meat, bread and cheese. He nodded towards a guy walking in the opposite direction to them who appeared to be talking to himself. “Talking to a fairy, or just crazy?”

“This game is unfair; you can see fairies and I can’t,” Natasha replied, taking a bite of her own sandwich, “and neither. He had a bluetooth earpiece in. That, and I get a weird headache when I try to focus on people who’re talking to fairies.”

“Good eye,” Tony praised with a grin, glancing behind them to confirm the earpiece. “I swear, the things you pick up, you could be a spy or some shit.”

“I try,” Natasha shrugged with a grin of her own. “So, tonight, what’re you thinking? Got a game plan?”

“I was thinking,” Tony replied, swallowing his bite, “that we get ourselves spruced up a little bit, maybe have a couple drinks at home so I’m at least a little buzzed before we go out -”

“It’d be weird if I bought two drinks all night and people can’t see you properly,” Natasha butted in.

“Not that weird, but yeah, couple drinks beforehand,” Tony continued, “and then we’ll head out to the Oak Tree at the end of the street and start the search, huh?”

He decided to ignore Natasha’s somewhat despondent look.

—

They… weren’t really having a lot of luck.

Tony was still feeling pleasantly buzzed from the half bottle of whiskey he had consumed at home, though he was sure by the end of the night he would be considerably less so. He’d worked out a system whereby he took sips of other people’s drinks while they weren’t looking. He breezed right by them without them noticing, and he only took a few mouthfuls at a time – the drunks at the bar didn’t even notice.

He’d also taken to  _accidentally_ knocking drinks onto the floor after spotting one slimy guy in particular going around dropping something into girls’ glasses.  _What a fucking trash bag._  With the room so crowded, people just assumed a stray elbow or handbag had knocked the glasses onto the floor – it was no big deal.

“Hey, sugarplum, how’s it going?” he called over the crowd, slipping into a space beside Natasha at the bar. She looked considerably drunker than he felt. “Any luck yet?”

“Nope,” she replied, much more eloquently than he would have expected. “You’re a pretty shitty fairy, you know that?”

Whoop, well, maybe she was a little drunker than she was letting on after all.

“How so?” he bit, glancing over at the barman across the bar before leaning over to grab an unopened bottle of whiskey from under the bar.

“Because… because you don’t do you’re fuckin’ job,” she replied, slurring her words just slightly in her passion. “I don’t even care about the soulmate – I don’t care if I never find someone, but  _you_  – you’re fuckin’ lazy. All you care about is yourself. It was fine when we were stupid kids, but we’re grown ups now and y'gotta start acting like it.”

Tony had to admit, that really did sting. They ribbed each other, sure, but Natasha was his best (and only) friend, and he knew it was the same for her. He had slacked off a little, he knew that, but… he kinda liked having Natasha all to himself. He wasn’t in love with her – nothing of the kind – but… he liked her company. Soulmates were a big deal, and he… he wasn’t sure he was ready to give up the little family the two of them had made for themselves quite yet. God knew he hadn’t had anything of the sort amongst his own kind.

“Tasha, no, come on,” he sighed as she staggered to her feet and turned away towards the door. “Natasha!”

“No, I’m done with this!” she yelled back. “Call me when you actually make some progress, yeah? Because right now I don’ wanna see you.”

“Natasha!” Tony called after her, but she was already disappearing into the crowd. “Shit.”

Jumping to his feet, he started to wade his way through the throngs of people after her. She held her drink very well, certainly, but there was no way he was letting her walk home by herself this late, drunk or not.

The back of his head was starting to niggle with pain as he dodged past a couple very enthusiastically making out at the end of the bar, and he wondered if maybe he’d drank a little too much, too. He spotted a fairy, small, tucked into one of the guy’s pockets and offered her a harried, empathetic smile as he zipped on by.

“Natasha!”

She was nowhere to be seen, and his headache was only getting worse. Cursing loudly under his breath, he forced his way through another gaggle of people towards the door. He knocked sharply against a guy as he pushed his way through, and he turned back to throw a pointless apology over his shoulder when he caught a look at the guy’s face and the pain in head got suddenly so excruciating that he thought for a second that he was going to pass out.

When the fog cleared from his eyes, the guy had obviously moved on over to the bar, having already forgotten Tony was there at all, but Tony felt different, somehow. Changed.

Looked like he had been doing his job after all.

—

Bucky Barnes had never had a problem getting girls to sleep with him. Hell, he’d even persuaded a few to try actual relationships with him. His love life was actually pretty conventional, he figured, for an average guy in his late twenties. He’d paid his dues overseas fighting for his country, had lost a damn arm in the process, and now he had the freedom to do whatever the hell he wanted.

It was great. His life was great, it was… well, it was kinda lonely, but that was fine. It was just because he had been used to bunking with eleven other guys for months on end, that was all. He’d get used to it eventually, he was sure.

Only, after a couple of years… he kind of hadn’t gotten used to it. He actually found himself in a bit of a funk, if he was being honest. Having joined the army right out of high school, he wasn’t the most educated guy, and he certainly couldn’t afford college on the Sergeant’s salary he had stocked up over his years in service. He could barely afford the insurance he was paying for his prosthetic arm, for God’s sake. That left him training as he went along on the building site he had managed to get a job on, and though he enjoyed being around other people on a regular basis again, it wasn’t very fulfilling work.

He needed a change.

That was where Steve had come in. It had honestly been kind of a drunken mistake, but one that he had been secretly glad of ever since. Bucky had come in late one night, drunk off his ass from drinks at the bar with some work friends, and in a terrible mood. All the guys had either taken girlfriends or one night stands home with them, and Bucky had been left without. He wasn’t even sure why he was in such a bad mood about that, just that he was sick of the same old routine. He was sick of one night stands, sick of relationships that didn’t last, so… in his drunken state, he had wished for a soulmate, something constant, and Steve had appeared.

Steve, he was a little embarrassed to admit, was his best friend. The guy took his work very seriously, sure, but he was good for a joke, too. Bucky had never met anyone as fiercely sarcastic or sassy before, and he loved Steve for it. He encouraged Bucky to quit his job at the building site, because it really wasn’t making him happy, and start afresh with something new. Now, he was only working in a bar, but it meant that he got to meet tonnes of new people every night and have a good time on the job; the money wasn’t bad, either. It was the start of the change that he had been craving for so long, and it felt great.

“I told you taking this job was a good idea!” Steve squeaked excitedly, small and hidden amongst the locks of Bucky’s long hair while he perched on his shoulder. “I told you I had a good feeling about it!”

Sat at the end of the bar, seemingly talking to herself (though Bucky knew she had to be talking to her own fairy), was his  _soulmate_. God, she was gorgeous. Short, wavy, fiery red hair, a plump, full pair of luscious lips, and curves that went on forever, she was absolutely stunning. But he also got a sense of danger from her, an independence, that was also very intriguing to him.

“How’s your headache, buddy?” he asked Steve, turning away from her so he could get back to polishing glasses.

“Oh, it’s fine now,” Steve replied. “It was there, blinding, and now it’s completely gone again. That’s not the point, Buck - are you going to go over and talk to her? She’s your  _soulmate_  -”

“Jeez, gimme a minute to process, buddy,” Bucky huffed, throwing a glance over his shoulder. The beauty at the end of the bar was still muttering irritatedly to herself. He hoped he wasn’t the source of her irritation. “What am I supposed to say to her?”

Fuck, he was usually a lot smoother than this with women, but this was different. This was his  _soulmate_  they were talking about.

“Well, you could start by going over there and saying hi?” Steve suggested, and Bucky resisted the urge to flick him off his shoulder. Sassy little bastard. “Look, she’s probably asking her fairy exactly the same thing. At the rate, you’re not actually gonna meet her before you’re dead -”

“All right, all right,” Bucky mumbled, taking a deep breath and putting the glass in his hands down. “Fine, fuck, I’m going.”

Steve let out a little cheer, the goof, while Bucky took another deep breath to steel himself against the inexplicable nerves that were lighting him up inside. Why was he nervous? This was his  _soulmate_  they were talking about! He had never heard of anyone finding their soulmate and finding they didn’t get along like… well, _soulmates_.

A little part of him, he guessed, didn’t want to be the first.

But after a quick, stern talking to himself, he took one more deep breath, and then strode forwards as confidently as he could manage.

“You’ve got this, Buck,” Steve whispered, clinging tightly to Bucky’s hair as he walked. “I can feel it; it’s all good -”

“Shh,” Bucky hissed, momentarily distracted, and then couldn’t help but smile as he came up in front of the red haired beauty. She looked at him with a coy smile in return, and he was momentarily dumbstruck, barely managing to croak out a lame, “Hi.”

“Hello,” she replied in kind, seemingly amused by him. It was a start, at least.

“I’m… my name is James,” he continued, feeling a little better as he managed to get a full sentence out. “People call me Bucky.”

“I’m Natasha,” she smiled.

_Natasha_. What a wonderful name. It suited her perfectly -  _she_  was perfect -

“It’s nice to meet you, James,” she continued, and Bucky found himself grinning like a fool.

“It’s, yeah, nice to meet you, too,” he nodded, and then took a deep breath. “Can I… can I get you a drink? On the house, of course.”

Natasha’s returning smile almost stopped his heart.

—

“He could use a haircut,” Tony hummed, tucked securely into Natasha’s breast pocket as they made their way home a few hours later. “But not too bad, right? Nice jawline, body, and those  _lips_  -”

“That’s enough,” Natasha told him, though her tone was fond, and Tony couldn’t help but grin happily.  _He’d done good._

“Still got that phone number safe, right?” he asked. “Wouldn’t want to have to start all over again.”

“Yes, Tony, it’s still in my phone, exactly where he left it,” Natasha rolled her eyes. “Now shut up and stop wriggling on top of my boob.”

“Hey, they’re nice boobs -”

Tony barked out a surprised, indignant laugh when Natasha flicked his whole head with one of her fingers.  

“We never really talked about the giant, fairy sized elephant in the room,” Natasha hummed, turning the corner onto their street. “Did you get a look at his fairy? You’re officially in a lifelong bond, too, y’know.”

“Jeez, you met the guy once and you’re already talking forever,” Tony grimaced, shuddering at the mere thought. “No, I didn’t get a look. He’s probably one of those by the book guys; I won’t get to meet him until it’s all official.”

There was kind of an unofficial ceremony once soulmates found each other, in which their fairies lifted the spell keeping them hidden so their human’s soulmate could see them, too. Traditionally, the fairies, though they could see each other, were supposed to wait to meet until they were introduced to their human’s soulmate, also. Tony had always thought it was a bit of a stupid rule, but it looked like Bucky’s fairy wanted to play it by the book.

Fine. Whatever. It’d only be a couple of weeks, tops, anyway. Tony could manage being small and discreet for that length of time, he was sure.

Once they were safely inside Natasha’s apartment building, Tony tipped himself out of her pocket and had grown to full size before he’d even hit the ground. They took the stairs instead of the elevator, both of them full of too much excited energy to really stand still long enough.

“Hey, listen,” Natasha murmured as they exited the stairwell and walked down the corridor towards her apartment. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier, okay? It was mean, and -”

“Nah, we’re good,” Tony waved her apology away as she let him into the apartment first. “You were right; I wasn’t pulling my weight. It’s all in the past now, though, baby. We’re not the same people we were back then -”

“Four hours ago?”

“I’m practically a married fairy now,” Tony grinned, flopping down onto the couch. “Ew, that sounds so weird.”

“You don’t have to marry them,” Natasha rolled her eyes, ducking into the kitchenette for a bottle of water. “But you’d really be doing me a favour if you could at least  _get along_ with them.”

“I can’t promise that,” Tony started, grumbling when Natasha tapped him on the forehead with her icy bottle of water as she passed to get to the armchair. “But I’ll try my best, I guess.”

“Coming from you, that’s the best I can hope for,” Natasha grinned at him, and Tony huffed.

“Rude.”

—

Just as Tony had suspected, it was only a few weeks before Natasha told him that she was going to introduce him to Bucky. In those few weeks, things had progressed between her and Bucky exponentially, stupidly fast to anyone but soulmates, to the point where they were practically living in each other’s pockets like Tony had been before. Tony thought he would feel a little turfed out, but he actually found that seeing Natasha as happy as she had been over the past few weeks was completely worth sleeping on the couch and covering his ears with pillows once the…  _activities_  started.

He also found himself with the apartment to himself a few nights a week while Natasha went out with Bucky and ended up at his place. Normally he would have tagged along, but between trying to keep himself out of sight and having to watch Natasha and Bucky eye-fuck each other, he found he really wasn’t all that interested. Instead, he stayed in and caught up on some TV he’d been meaning to watch, all the while fixing up Natasha’s electronics; he liked to tinker.

But now, finally, he was going to meet the guy properly. He was going to meet  _his_ partner, too, and that thought was a little bit terrifying.

“How do I look?” he asked, wandering straight through into Natasha’s bedroom without knocking. Luckily, she was already dressed.

“What have I told you about knocking?” she sighed, putting earrings on over by her dresser.

“I’ve seen it all before,” Tony waved her concern away, and then gestured to his suit. “How do I look? Tie? No tie?”

Natasha smirked, as though she knew exactly how weirdly nervous he felt. “Adorable.”

“ _Tasha_  -”

“You look fine, okay?” she rolled her eyes, and then paused. “Maybe put a tie on.”

“ _Thank you,_ ” Tony huffed. “That’s all I wanted to know.”

Wandering over to the wardrobe he and Natasha shared, he opened it and quickly located his tie rack at the very end. He took just a moment to debate over which one to choose, before pulling a deep crimson one out. It matched well with his charcoal grey jacket and slacks, so he popped his white collar up and quickly tied it around his neck, before smoothing the whole outfit out. He bounced across the room to inspect himself in Natasha’s dresser mirror beside her.

Pretty dashing, if he did say so himself.

“Hang on, I have something for you,” Natasha murmured, finishing up with some red lipstick. Leaning across him, she caught up a slip of patterned yellow material and then folded it neatly to tuck into his breast pocket. “There. Much better.”

Tony grinned and looked back in the mirror at himself. Natasha had been right - the hanky offered a little pop of colour that completed the outfit nicely. He looked pretty damn smart.

“Adorable,” Natasha reiterated with a smirk, and then leaned in to peck Tony on the cheek. “Please don’t be a dick and ruin it.”

“I’m not gonna ruin this for you,” Tony replied quietly, letting Natasha rub her lipstick mark off his cheek. “I might be a dick, though. That’s just part of the package -”

“I know,” Natasha smiled. “Thank you.”

Tony nodded his head. “Okay. Let’s get this show on the road.”

—

They were meeting them at some fancy, upscale restaurant that Natasha had booked out a full portion of so they wouldn’t be disturbed or asked weird questions when supposedly only two people were sat at a four person table, or why they were ordering for four. The waitstaff would probably guess, else think Bucky and Natasha were just extra hungry, and Tony was fine with that either way.

“I’m thinking I just go straight up to them and stick my tongue down their throat,” Tony hummed, bouncing along beside Natasha as they followed their waitress across the restaurant to their room at the back.

“Please, for the love of God, do not do that,” Natasha hissed in reply. “What happened to being normal? What -”

“Tasha, chill, I’m fucking with you,” Tony replied, craning his neck to try and get a look. Looked like they were the first there. “But do we know anything about them? Do we even have a gender?”

“James talks about his  _buddy_  Steve a lot,” Natasha hummed as Tony tugged her chair back for her, smiling at the waitress as she handed her a wine menu. “So I’m guessing male. Is that gonna be a problem?”

“I can work with that,” Tony replied, slipping into his own seat. “My people are born pansexual. All about the brain and heart, not the junk, that’s us. Plus, y’know, why limit yourself? So many pretty people out there -”

“They’re here,” Natasha cut his rambling off, and they both got to their feet. “Turn the magic mumbo jumbo off.”

“ _Magic mumbo jumbo_ ,” Tony huffed under his breath, closing his eyes and feeling around with invisible hands until he caught a hold of Bucky. Then he sort of… _pushed_  until he felt just a little lighter, and opened his eyes again. Bucky was staring at him like he’d seen a ghost, which Tony realised had to be pretty accurate, seeing as, to Bucky, he had just appeared from nowhere.

It was the guy next to him, dressed in a sharp, pale blue suit, who Tony couldn’t keep his eyes off. God _damn_ , but he was the most handsome guy Tony had ever seen in his whole life.  _Jackpot_. Glancing over at Natasha, she sent him a look that told him she was thinking the exact same thing.

“James, hi,” Natasha smiled, leaning into the hug that Bucky wrapped her in. She reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, and he came away smiling like a goof.

She could have done worse for herself, Tony decided, and then immediately felt like her father for thinking that. Gross.

“James, this is Tony,” she introduced after they had pulled apart. “Tony, this is James.”

“Oh, I know,” Tony replied, shaking the guy’s hand as they all sat down. “Nice to finally have a face to put to all the moaning coming out of Natasha’s bedroom recently -”

He let out an undignified squawk as Natasha kicked him non-too-gently under the table, and then side-eyed him to the best of her ability. Bucky, across the table, actually looked pretty amused by it all, if a little red in the face.

“It’s nice to meet the asshole Natasha never stops complaining about,” Bucky replied, and Tony snorted.

“Touché, buddy,” he grinned, raising the glass of wine the waitress had poured for them all before making a hasty retreat. Bucky met his glass with his own, and then Tony tossed a couple of large mouthfuls back in one go. “And who’s your friend?”

Said friend was watching Tony warily, and with a unappreciative crease between his brow. God, he looked sexy even when he was disapproving.

“Oh, this is Steve,” Bucky replied. “My best buddy.”

Steve, at least, smiled at that, and finally looked away from Tony so he could shake Natasha’a hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you properly, ma’am.”

“Wow, okay, none of that,” Natasha laughed. “Call me Natasha.”

“Natasha,” Steve agreed, letting her hand go delicately. Boy, the guy had nice, big hands.

“So,” Bucky hummed, handing out menus. “What are you guys gonna get?”

—

Overall, dinner went… cordially. Honestly, though he was hotter than the third circle of hell, Steve kinda seemed like a bit of a stick in the mud. He was uptight, quiet and frustratingly polite to a point. Tony and Natasha had never been like that, not even in the beginning, and Tony wasn’t sure he liked the whole  _master and servant_  thing Bucky and Steve seemed to have going on. Even worse, Steve made his distaste for Tony’s lifestyle very well known via judgy looks, and by the end of dinner, Tony had pretty much had enough.

“You wanna stay at my place tonight? It’s closer,” Bucky murmured to Natasha as they were paying the bill, and Tony felt his heart leap into his throat.

No, no, please no, he wanted to go home; he needed a chance to bitch to Natasha about what a fuddy-duddy he’d been lumped with, he needed -

“Sure,” Natasha replied with an intimate smile, accepting the kiss Bucky gave her. “Tony, you and Steve can stay at our apartment tonight if you’re tired of hearing me and James. It might give you a chance to get to know each other a little better.”

Tony knew she was trying to act as wingman for him, and he loved her for it, but he was one hundred percent certain that Steve wasn’t going to sleep with him, tonight or potentially any other night. But what was he supposed to do? He’d promised her he’d make an effort, and for the sake of her happiness he was going to have to stick to that promise.

“Sure,” he forced out a smile, more than aware that it probably looked closer to a grimace. “We can do that. You… crazy kids have a nice night.”

Steve looked as put out as Tony felt when they all stepped out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk outside. Tony couldn’t help but feel a little peevish over that - was spending a night with him so unappealing? What was Steve’s problem?

“Okay, I guess this is where we leave you,” Bucky smiled, allowing Natasha to link their arms together. “You guys gonna be all right?”

“We’ll… be fine,” Steve replied, his pause audible to everyone. “Get home safe, Buck.”

“Will do, bud,” Bucky nodded.

“See you tomorrow, Tony,” Natasha smiled, and then winked at him as she and Bucky turned to leave. Tony tried not to shudder.

“Be smart!” he called after them. “Use protection!”

Natasha waved him off with a fond sigh, but beside him, Steve let out a disbelieving little noise. Rolling his eyes once he was sure Natasha and Bucky were safe, he turned back to Steve.

“Let’s go, then, muscles,” he grumbled, holding out his hand.

Steve paused for a moment, obviously thinking about his options, but ultimately took Tony’s hand and let him transport them both back to Natasha’s apartment.

“Well, here we are,” Tony sighed once they appeared again, immediately dropping Steve’s hand. “Mi casa es su casa and all that. You want something to drink?”

“Water would be fine, thank you,” Steve replied a little stiffly, glancing around the living room with interest.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Sure you don’t want something a little stronger? Bucky’s not gonna suddenly choke and die just because you drink a beer.”

“Fine,” Steve replied with clenched teeth, and then seemed to forcibly make himself take a deep breath. “Thank you.”

Rolling his eyes again, Tony ducked through into the kitchenette and pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge. Popping the caps on both of them, he carried them back through to the living room and handed one to Steve, who was still stood like a lost puppy in the middle of the room, before he dropped down onto the couch with his own beer.

“You can sit down, you know,” he hummed, taking a deep swig of his beer. “I don’t bite, you know. Not unless you want me to.”

Steve blushed as he perched himself on the other end of the couch, and it was a beautiful sight to behold. Tony lamented, just for a second, that it was a shame the guy’s personality wasn’t as nice as his body, but he knew that was probably a little too much to ask for. They sat in silence for a few moments, just sipping their beers, and Tony felt a sense of awkwardness coming on.

Luckily, in the next moment, he got a text message. Shooting Steve a quick glance, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it.

_Made it back to James’. How’s it going with Steve? - Natasha_

_He doesn’t like me,_ Tony texted back quickly.  _He doesn’t seem to like anything, actually. Managed to get a beer into him, but it doesn’t really seem to be helping._

_I’m sure he likes you fine,_ Natasha texted back.  _Just be nice to him. Why don’t you play that game with him that we play after we’ve pissed each other off?_

That was a good idea to break the ice. Natasha and Tony liked to play a game called Five and One after they’d argued, where they’d tell each other five things they liked about each other, and one thing they needed to improve on. If nothing else, it’d be an opportunity for Tony to get some flirty compliments in.

_Good call,_ Tony texted.  _And have a good night._

_Will do,_ he got in reply, and then put his phone back into his pocket.

Taking a deep breath, he asked, “Wanna play a game with me?” and watched as Steve sat up a little straighter, intrigued. “We each have to say five things we like about each other, and one thing we need to improve on. Might break the ice?”

Steve seemed surprisingly game with that idea, if his smile was anything to go on. “Okay, sounds like a good idea. I’ll go first?”

“Sure,” Tony agreed, shuffling a little closer across the couch.

“Um…” Steve hummed. “You’re friendly… outgoing. Erm… you obviously care about Natasha. You seem intelligent, and… you have nice eyes.”

Tony sat up at that admission, a little taken aback, but definitely in a good way. Steve’s blush returned when he smirked at him.

“But you… you’re a little brash,” Steve went on. “You don’t seem to take your job all that seriously.”

“Oh, definitely,” Tony agreed easily, because even  _he_  knew he was brash. “Okay, my turn. You’ve obviously got strong morals. You and Bucky seem really tight, which is nice. You’re generally very well put together. Your ass is… just stunning, really, I’m in awe, and… well, I mean, your lips look like the most kissable things I’ve ever -”

The rest of his sentence was lost against Steve’s lips as the guy leaned forwards and kissed him. Tony assumed it was meant to just be a peck, but he brought his hands up and cradled Steve’s face in his hands, deepening the kiss further. Steve gasped, but allowed it, and as they tipped backwards to lie on the couch, Tony couldn’t help but grin helplessly.

—

Later, after they’d moved to the bed and the  _activities_  had finally come to an explosive end, Tony got another text from Natasha. Groaning, he reached for the bedside table and snatched his phone up.

_How did it go? You’ve been nice to him, right? Did the game break the ice? - Natasha_

Quietly, so as not to wake Steve, who was snoring against Tony’s shoulder, he turned the phone around and took a quick snap of them. He then sent it to Natasha with the caption,  _Didn’t get round to telling him my improvement._

_Probably for the best,_ was all she replied.


End file.
